Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
did i just pee glitter
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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