Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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