Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
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