Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Randomize