PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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