you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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