Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Panties = found
Randomize
