if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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