i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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