I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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