I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
