just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Randomize
