Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
