you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
