I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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