So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
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