it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
