You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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