before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
