Me too!
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
