i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Randomize
