youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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