dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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