never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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