I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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