I've blown a few things in my day
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
This toilet bowl is my home.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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