don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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