Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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