$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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