I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
