Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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