Already got asked if we're dating
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
