Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Randomize
