Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
