So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
