your room smells of hookers.
And success
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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