Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
