OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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