AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
