i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
