you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
