one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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