i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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