Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
