so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
