I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
