Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
