i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
