You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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