There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
