drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
