White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Dignity is for republicans.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
The convent might be a nice break from real life
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
